Updated: Feb 27, 2019
On [redacted] I walked in on my love naked, in bed, with another woman, and my life hasn’t been the same since.
Surprisingly, that was only the icing on the shit cake.
In the wise words of the queen, when Beyoncé said “something don’t feel right, because it ain’t right,” she was speaking facts. I wish I could say that was the end of my relationship or that it was the first time I had an inkling something was wrong, but it wasn’t. So, I did what any woman would do in this situation. I investigated. And what I found was devastating. At first I would confront my partner, but quickly realized none of these confrontations would lead to the truth. Eventually, I began to simply observe, take note of his behavior, and file away messages, phone calls, gchats, and group chats for a rainy day. Why? Because what Black woman do you know that doesn’t keep the receipts? Come on, call me crazy, but what’s WORST?
I truly struggled with the idea of writing this blog for months. If you know me, you know I am a very private person and an introvert. Which is why even my closest friends were surprised to know all of what all went on behind the scenes. I don’t share myself with many people, so posting about my experiences is terrifying. But, I am doing it because I recognize the value of my story. I believe as women we are often silent to protect those who have harmed us, and we suffer the greatest consequences when we speak out. I want my pain to be healing for someone else.
Through my experiences, I’ve become well versed in spotting lying, manipulative, and abusive behavior. In my blog you will get more than just my journey through healing. You will find how to recognize the scammers in your own life, see the red flags for yourself, and learn how I navigated to peace and healing. This will not be a self-care blog on lemon slices and face masks (although those things are helpful). I want to give you my informed opinions on these topics and how to care for yourself. I will always suggest seeking the help of a mental health professional in every situation and any advice is not intended to replace or supplement counseling (legal disclaimer). Make no mistake, I do not claim victimhood. I am a survivor of emotional, physical, and financial abuse and I won’t allow anyone to discount my experiences. Writing has been cathartic for me and if even one woman (or man) reads my story and leaves a potentially harmful situation, then it is worth it to share.
I hope you like it. As always, take what you need and leave the rest 😊